By-words to Encourage Prosocial Behavior

We do not exclude people.

• "Can we find a way to include ______ in your game?"
• "Can ______ have a job in your game?"

We use words, not our hands, feet or other body parts to solve problems.

• "What do you need to do if you want to have a turn?" (Use words.)
• "Can you both work this problem out together or do you need my help?"

We acknowledge people's feelings.

• "I know you feel mad (sad, bad, angry) but I cannot let you hurt anyone. I won't let people hurt you either. We keep people safe here."
• "We take care of each other's feelings."
• "You can't stop your feelings, but you can control what you do. I'll help you."

We encourage children to feel good about themselves and each other.

• "We say good things about each other's projects, work, block buildings, etc".
• "We say 'thank you,' 'please,' 'you are welcome,' to each other."
• "It's O.K. to think something does not look, taste, sound good. It's not O.K. to make someone feel bad about something she/he has. Different people like different things."

We have fun together!

• "Can you ask ______ to play with you? She/he looks very interested in what you are doing."
• "You look like you want to play, too. Can you ask if you can play? Do you want me to come with you?"
• "How fast can we all clean up the room if we all work together?"

We celebrate growth.

• "Wow! You worked out that problem all by yourselves!"
• "I like the way you helped each other with that building."
• "I like the way you really listened to what your friend had to say."
• "I'm glad you remembered to come find an adult when your friend needed help."
• "It's great that we are all different -- it makes the world so interesting to live in."